by Grant “Kapono” KanohoNow, Beyond Honolulu is NO Perez Hilton or TMZ….but all the hubbub over Charlie Sheen’s recent WINNING quotes got me thinking about where I would send him if he ever dropped on by our island community. So, based on his own words, here’s my list of 5 Oahu attractions that may just prove to be a match for his Adonis DNA….1) Charlie Said: “Most of the time—and this includes naps—I’m an F-18 and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.”Beyond Honolulu Says: Charlie would LOVE the Pacific Aviation Museum Pearl Harbor (http://www.pacificaviationmuseum.com) on historic Ford Island – a world-class exhibit of aircraft and aviation attractions ranked as the #8 aviation attraction in the US. Not sure if they have the F-18 specifically, but hey, I’m sure there’s something here that Lt. Topper Harley would love to get his hands on.2) Charlie Said: “Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.”Beyond Honolulu Says: Charlie would find himself surrounded by WINNERS if he were to ever catch a University of Hawaii Rainbow Wahine Volleyball game at the Stan Sheriff Center. One of the most “winningest” collegiate teams in history, these games bring record attendance crowds to the Manoa area every season. Four National Championships to go along with 10 straight WAC conference titles have made this program a veritable factory for future Olympians, All-Americans and professional players. They just WIN. (www.hawaiiathletics.com)3) Charlie Said: “I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That’s how I describe myself.”Beyond Honolulu Says: Well, Mr. Sheen, I believe that you should work your way towards Bishop Museum (www.bishopmuseum.org) as quickly as you can. Hawaii’s largest museum is home to a variety of exhibits, events, travelling displays, educational experiences, concerts and more! Great place to bring the kids (hence the 7-year old booger potential) or to examine the recorded history of our islands (well, not quite 10,000-years, but you catch my drift).4) Charlie Said: “It’s, like, guys, IMDB right there, 62 movies and a ton of success. I mean, c’mon bro, I won best picture at 20. I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t even warm.”Beyond Honolulu Says: I for one can say that Charlie Sheen’s film career has had its share of HITS (‘Platoon’, ‘Wall Street’) and MISSES (‘The Arrival’ anyone? ‘Loaded Weapon’ perhaps?). But, what better place to judge for yourself than at Kaimuki’s Movie Museum, a 23 seat single screen theater that remains one of Honolulu’s best kept secrets. Whether you’re in the mood for vintage, independent, foreign or current flicks, this place could possibly be THE perfect venue to rent out to do a Cinema Sheen marathon…..hmmm…I may just have to host that! Also, check out their video rental section as well – not to be missed!5) Charlie Said: “I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips…”Beyond Honolulu Says: Well, Chuck…Honolulu has both of those at your disposal! For the magic in you, spock out the Ko’olau Magic Theatre in the tranquil Temple Valley Shopping Center in Kaneohe. A family-oriented venue that provides an outlet for aspiring island magicians, the Ko’olau Magic Theatre is a great spot for catching illusionists, balloonists, stage magicians and more! (www.koolaumagictheatre.com)For the poet in you, check out Hawaii Slam, a non-profit group that has garnered national recognition for their work with Hawaii’s best performance poets and for hosting the well-attended First Thursdays poetry slam events. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and hearing a lot of their talented artists – and I for one am constantly amazed at the work coming from these folks. Charlie would definitely find a soapbox to speak from here! (www.hawaiislam.com)
About Grant Kapono Kanoho
Husband. Father. Lightsleeper. Realtor. Musician. Writer. Don't Sleep... follow me on Instagram
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